Choosing Joy

   This is not a picture of my own scan, This just to give an idea of what the scan looks like. So here we are at another test. I know that may come off as passive aggressive, but really its not intended to be that way. I am feeling so blessed to be able to have such an amazing team behind me to give me such great care. Even If I had to jump through quite a few hoops to get there. Next in the line up of tests, was a PET scan. For those of you who do not know what a PET scan is, the machine itself looks like  an MRI or CT machine, but it provides more specific results. According to dr. Google,  a PET scan, also known as a positron emission tomography, is a machine that doctors use to locate/check for disease inside the body. The person having the test is given dye containing "radioactive tracers", depending what part of the body they are looking at will decipher how the dye will be given i.e. orally, injection etc. But here's the thing though, given the nature of the ...

Hi All, Hope you all had a good week. So for those of you who are keeping count, so far I have had an MRI, CT, and ultrasound. Despite doing all of these tests, we seem to have not gotten any answers. Well let me correct that, its given the doctors answers, it just hasn't given ME any answers. Seeing as no-one has actually gone over any of the results with me. Im sure as many of you can imagine, if you haven't been there yourself, to say this situation is extremely nerve-racking, terrifying, and exhausting would really be an understatement.  Lucky for me, being a patient in the UHN network, as mentioned in the previous post, I was able to access all of my appointments and results on my "online patient portal". For those of you who are not aware of what that is, it's basically you're patient chart that you can access online. Its actually very cool and quite convenient to help keep organized. Seeing as during everything that was happening I could barely remember...

  Hey all, Welcome back! Hope you all had a good week. So for those of you who are not familiar with a CT scan, it is short form for computerized tomography. A CT or CAT scan, is a machine that takes a series of X-ray photos at different angles, of the bones, blood vessels and soft tissues inside the body. As you can see above, the look is very similar to an MRI. However, it takes about a 1/3 of the time, an actual voice that yells at you, and there's a lot more "holding your breath" involved.😆 Naturally as i'm sure you all can imagine, I was still traumatized from the last test I had to do at Princess Margaret Cancer Centre(PMH), yes the dreaded MRI. So knowing that I needed to go back once again to do a CT scan, there certainly was some anxiety going along with it. That being said, I pulled up my big girl panties and went on with the wonderful cancer crap show that was my life at this point. 😆💪 I arrived at PMH early to ensure I was not going to be late, seeing a...

Whuddup fam! HAPPY EASTER ALL! 🥚🐇 It's good to be back! thanks to everyone who reached out to me over the past week.💗  Honestly the past week and a bit took a lot out of me, but i'm happy to say that i'm feeling a lot better. Its amazing what a heavy dose of antibiotics can do, thank the Lort for modern medicine!  So, where was I? Oh yeah, the ultrasound at Toronto General Hospital. I find it so funny, as I write these posts, how other memories come flooding back, especially in this case. It's also extremely ironic that easter weekend just happened to coincide with this specific post. That may not make sense right now, but trust me, keep reading and everything will come full circle. Let's go way back to when my husband and I started this whole fertility process about Nov/Dec 2019. They say, if you are 35 years old or older and you have not gotten pregnant yet, then you should reach out for professional assistance. Whoever "they" are, luckily in my case,...

  Hey Friends, Im going to be honest, I didn't write a typical post this week. I had one ready to be written, but I haven't been feeling the best. I think with my body having been beating down constantly for the....well past year now. Between tests, shots, IV's and vaccines, its freaking out and waving the white flag. Ive had a really really bad ear infection since the beginning of last week. I used to have them a lot when I was a kid, and has always been something that's brought me straight to my knees, no questions asked. Still to this day. I couldn't tell you where or how I got it, but what I do know is I'm in a stupid amount of pain and Im over it. Trust me. At the beginning of the week I was hoping it would eventually go away, but unfortunately it just progressively got worse.  I even saw my ENT doc last Thursday and got some drops. Here we are on Sunday, i'm still in pain, AND now additionally on heavy oral antibiotics. So now not only is my ear mad at...

Hi friends, Nice to see you again! I know the last post was pretty intense. Part of me wants to apologize for that, but then I would be lying, so I won't. 😊 Part of the reason why I'm writing this blog is to be me, unapologetically myself, completely honest, and well...... honestly, that is exactly what happened.🤷 At the end of the day I just wanted to make it clear, in no way am I trying to speak ill of, or purposefully slander anyone in healthcare. I am one of them myself, and that's really not who I am as a person.   Im hoping most of you know that by now. However, what I am trying to do is to bring light to a really hard, rough, difficult, and all round terrifying situation. Having cancer is scary, terrifying, lonely, not to mention emotionally, and physically exhausting. Not just those of us who have actually been diagnosed, which takes the most toll, but those of you out there who are "deep in the trenches with us", to not only see us through, but, lift us...

  First and foremost I just wanted to give all my love to all the readers of this blog. Im so glad that you enjoy it and i'm truly grateful anyone is actually reading this at all.  So on this blog site, behind the scenes, I get to see all the stats and whatnot. How cool is it that this blog has gone INTERNATIONAL! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! #famousAF. 😎 Look at me giving Beyonce a run for her money!💃 Shoutout to all the readers in Canada, USA, UK, India, Australia, St. Lucia, Japan, Germany, Russia, Belgium, and Ukraine! 👏👏👏🙌🙌  There are other countries, I'm sure, but unfortunately they aren't listed and only come up as "other". But dont worry friends! you still matter!!  Not to mention, so far, this blog has been viewed well over 3,200 times!🙀 SO COOL! I'm sure you are all sick of me asking you to say hi or comment🙈. It's primarily because I really have no idea who reads this. Names don't come up when you view it, it's just numbers *whomp whomp*. B...

Hi all, been a while! Nice to see you again!🖐 Here we are for another instalment of the ever eventful crap-show that has been my life for the past few months.😆 Let me preface this post with, this blog is a safe space. There is no judgement here, nor is it welcome. I want ALL of you who read any of these posts, especially this one, to feel comfortable enough to be open and willing to comment. I will always respond, as i'm always excited to hear from any of you. Not to mention with comments,  it invokes really great conversation. That is how we can create awareness and support each other throughout those though times, even when we DON'T know what to say. I want everyone to have no fear about voicing their opinion/feeling worried about asking a "stupid" question.  FYI when it comes to this, there are no stupid questions. So when I first started this blog, this entry was something I always wanted to do, but wasn't sure how to squeeze it in, or even really how to app...