Chapter 21: The hunt for the oncologist results

Hi All,

Hope you all had a good week. So for those of you who are keeping count, so far I have had an MRI, CT, and ultrasound. Despite doing all of these tests, we seem to have not gotten any answers. Well let me correct that, its given the doctors answers, it just hasn't given ME any answers. Seeing as no-one has actually gone over any of the results with me. Im sure as many of you can imagine, if you haven't been there yourself, to say this situation is extremely nerve-racking, terrifying, and exhausting would really be an understatement. 

Lucky for me, being a patient in the UHN network, as mentioned in the previous post, I was able to access all of my appointments and results on my "online patient portal". For those of you who are not aware of what that is, it's basically you're patient chart that you can access online. Its actually very cool and quite convenient to help keep organized. Seeing as during everything that was happening I could barely remember to ingest anything that resembled some sort of food, or breathe for that matter (well thats me on a normal day actually, get it? sleep apnea...ugh ok fine ill just move on then🙄😆), let alone remember where I had to be a when.

Aside from actually having to do the tests, the hardest part of all this was not knowing. Mind you having access to the results was somewhat helpful, but truly it really did nothing for me.  Seeing as despite being a healthcare professional myself, i'm in no way a doctor by any stretch of the imagination. So my attempt in any way to decode whatever, random mythical medical jargon, language all of my results were written in; would be completely pointless, and an honest GD waste of time. So why try and reinvent the wheel you ask? well h3ll thats what I thought too. Given the fact I had all of those tests, at the beginning of the month, all within the same week. I then, wasn't supposed to meet with my oncologist until closer to the end of the month....Well guess what buttercup, I was havin' none of that. For those of you who know me and my need for immediate knowledge and gratification, a.k.a a nice way to say I'm impatient AF; and yes I'm well aware of this, I was not gonna just sit back and wait for the results that long. I was gonna find out what the h3ll was going on come h3ll or high water.

So off I went on a mission, a mission of clarification and knowledge. I already know, as most people do, to google any type of diagnosis or medical jargon is basically a death sentence. However, desperate times called for desperate measures. Lort knows I was hella desperate to know what was going on. I had cancer, that was the beginning, middle, and end of all I knew at this point. Naturally I needed to know more, as soon as I could.

So I looked on my patient portal at my results, and googled some of the words I didn't understand like any normal human would do. Mind you it was really hard not to spiral, and go down some epically weird dark rabbit hole. I did my best however, and had a bit of a better understanding of what a fair chunk of it all meant in general. However, what did this mean for me?, was it good?, was it bad?, I have NO idea...But what I do know is, I want ice cream.🍦 Lots and lots of ice cream.🍦🍧🍨 As far as we know right now, small or single servings of any ice cream may not be the cure for cancer.  Especially tiger tail, side note who the h3ll eats that stuff its disgusting! its the only ice cream I won't eat. Forreal tho, I swear it was created by ISIS to torture people, that stuff is the WORST! 🤮.....HOWEVER!, Delicious ice cream might be a cure in copious amounts, and i'm willing to try. H3ll i'll  be happy to take one for the team to see if it works. If not well, at least my soul will be soothed, and my belly will be full.😏

Sorry side tracked, where was I. Oh yeah. So I did google some of the medical jargon to get a better Idea of what might be going on in my body. However, I didn't know what a normal baseline was for anything or what would be considered as abnormal as well.🤷 I was certainly "in the dark" to say the least, and given that i'm almost 40 and STILL afraid of the dark most days, this needed to be solved. So what did I do you ask? well seeing as I didn't have the number to  my oncologist office, I couldn't call them. 🙄 I reached out to a variety of nurses I knew personally, my mom being one of them, as she is a retired RN, and asked for clarification. Sad to say, that unfortunately didn't do much either. What I kept gathering  from them was, talk to your doctor.....blah blah blah. Cool, once again, I refuse to wait. Like ive always been told if there is a will, theres a way. Lort know I certainly had a will to find out what was wrong with me.

What was my next step tho? where was I to find answers? Then it came to me go to the person who referred  you to the oncologist team DR. J!! yes of corse. So I reached out to her receptionist who is the best by the way and asked if Dr. J would be able to help. I knew it certainly was a long shot, but at the same time, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take people. Look at me freaking Confucius over here, droppin' philosophy bombs left and right. 😉

Luckily for me and how amazing Dr. J is she was willing to help me out. I couldn't be more grateful, and given the amount of times I told her, Im sure she knew that.😊 However, there still was a minor problem. The good thing is that Dr. J is a doctor, and she has a fairly good overall idea of what things are in terms of the jargon etc. However, the main issue was, that she is not an oncologist. Unfortunately she was not able to fully decode my results like I was hoping. I guess the best way to explain it would be, Canadian and Australian people both speak English. However, there are some words that are used for different things, or more specifically there are words that one country uses and the other does not. Its the same for fertility doctors and oncologists unfortunately. At the end of the day, I just really needed to speak to my oncologist and find out what was going on.

So  I put on my detective hat, and I did a bunch of research. I was finally able to get the oncologists phone number and left a voicemail with her receptionist. Phew! Now, I don't know who needs to hear this, and im not sure why this came to me, but I feel like I need to say it. If you are single, or in a relationship with someone who waits for you to call/txt them, waits days before reaching out, or doesn't seem make the effort to show interest. Please take note. If they really wanted to talk to you they would find a way, come h3ll or high water, they would find you. Take me for example, I really wanted my results, and look at all the steps I took to get them. You are worth more than that, you are with value. The more you love and respect yourself, the more love and respect others will have for you, and give to you.

Just sayin'.

So as i'm sure many of you know cancer has stages. The stages vary from stage I(1) to stage IV(4). Stage I is the lowest stage and more often than not, the best care scenario when it comes to having cancer. The concern of my doctors, and why they had me do so many tests, was to see where the cancer actually was and the extent of it. Was it just in the lining of the uterus? or had the lil jerk moved through the uterine muscle into the rest of the body? Two very different scenarios, hence why I needed my answers asap.

Anyway. A few days later my oncologist called me back, after leaving a somewhat desperate pleading voicemail asking for help. Bless her and Dr. J's heart for having the patience to put up with me and my bull💩.😁 Finally the call that I had been waiting for! The answers had arrived! Turns out, according to the MRI, Ultrasound, and CT, it looked like the cancer was contained inside the uterus, thank the Lort. My oncologist was fairly certain, but she wanted to double check with the pathologist rapport that it was only stage 1 at this point. However that could very easily change. She did also say that on the MRI, I had a polypoid mass inside my uterus. However, they were not sure if that was the root of where the cancer was coming from or just another polyp. Lastly, they noticed my right lymph node was in the "upper limits of normal size and has atypical morphology". This my friends, is no bueno, no bueno at all.

So incase you didn't know, as per dr. Google, we have 500-600 lymph nodes throughout our bodies. Lymph nodes are actually really important to you health. They help make up your immune system and use lymphatic fluid containing white blood cells to help your body filter out infection and disease. So when one of your lymph nodes is larger than it should be, as well as being "atypical in morphology" aka not normally shaped. That is a big red flag for the doctors, and something they need to look into asap. Thats not only a problem, thats a big A$$ EFFIN' problem.

So what was the plan? What was the next steps? 

Trust me, I was dying to know just as bad as you are. So my oncologist wanted me to do a PET scan. No thats not where cats, dogs, gerbils, guinea pigs, and birds look you up and down. Unfortunately, as fun as that would certainly be. Its actually another test where they inject radioactive dye into you and you light up in neon like a house on the Great Christmas Light fight.

Exhibit A:

I love Christmas so much! I could actually go for a Christmas Hallmark movie right about now.....

So anyways that was the plan. Aside from that, they had an idea of what they were going to do to thin out the lining of my uterus.  Given the endometrial hyperplasia I was originally diagnosed with. But, let's just take it one step at a time. We needed to get the "powers that be" aka the tumour board to approve me even having a PET scan in the first place. But that's another post to come next week.

Thanks again for reading, Feel free to share this blog with anyone and everyone who you may feel will benefit. Even if its for a good laugh.

To be continued next week! stay safe, stay masked!