Chapter 52: Receptionist - "B*tchy Bertha"

 

Hey all, long time no chat.

I just wanted to send out my sincere gratitude to all of you who have reached out and commented over the past few months wondering where I am, and how I’ve been doing. Overall I’ve been well, physically. Mind you, mentally and emotionally seems to be another story.....haha.

It's amazing how we can get so wrapped up in our own lives and all the different things we need to get done on a daily basis that we seem to easily forget about ourselves. Anywho, i'm back and ready for another posting. I can certainly say with 100% confidence that we are in no way near the end of this journey. Despite being at post #52 haha. I swear i'm not trying to drag this out, it just really is that long of a story!  However, I can tell you with full and complete confidence that once I get to the posts about my hysterectomy surgery, the wait will certainly be worth it. Funny enough they have already both been written, I couldn't wait they were just too good.....really, TOO GOOD not to write immediately. Unfortunately for all of you though, Im trying to go in order so everything in my brain can somewhat make sense.

Here goes nothing.....

Seems now a days common sense is not as common as one would hope. Mind you, let's give some people the benefit of the doubt. Pandemic life has certainly taken a toll on all of us, including myself. But then there are those people where you just wonder how they get through life without spontaneously combusting....👩👨💣💥💨       😂 Forreal though.  Its just like a constant epic universal phenomenon they haven't just randomly exploded one morning while getting out of bed, never to be seen again 😟. Just keep reading, trust me it will all make sense soon...

So by now I knew my surgery was going to happen a lot quicker than I imagined given how things appeared to be playing out. Not to mention my oncologist telling me that, no matter what day for surgery they offer me I must take it. Slowly, and yet surely, by this point my life seemed to be some sort of irrational murder mystery that Lort knows I never really wanted to be a part of... "hmm lets see, i'm going to go with Mrs. X in the library with the butter knife Alex for 1000". Good Lort can you imagine how horrible it would be to take a uterus out with a butter knife. HA, jokes on them, that sucker wouldn't be coming out no matter how much butter they had on that knife. But lets be clear im not willing to stay around and have them try it out 😳......

No matter how hard I tried, I just could not seem to grasp overall what was happing at any given moment, let alone not possibly being with Dr. F  her for her to do my surgery. I was apparently at the point where it was whoever was available first, a hysterectomy surgery "Russian roulette" crapshoot if I'm really honest. Obviously first and foremost I want someone who is good and will complete everything successfully with the least amount of invasion of corse. I'd be lying however if I said I wasn't holding out even the smallest glimmer of hope that badass Meridith Grey was  going to walk in the surgical OR with a cape and all, ready to slay whatever cancer dragon decided to dare invade my uterus. As well as Mark Sloan and Jackson Avery right behind her ready to hold my hand and whisper sweet nothings in my ear the whole time to keep me calm. WHAT!?! There is a reason why they call them Mc Steemy and Mc Hottie 😏. They are after all no longer on the show so im sure they can squeeze me into their schedules some how? a girl can wish can't she? 🤤🤤

Naturally, as one would imagine, this is a fairly rough time for me. Mind you for anyone in this situation would be incredibly overwhelmed. You would think, at least hope that the staff working with you through this would have some compassion and willingness to support those patients they are working with. The reality is however, im sure people just become numb and for the lack of a better term "nose blind", thanks febreeze, to the situation and just try to move people along as much and efficiently as possible. Much like my oncologists receptionist. Let's call her "B*itchy Bertha", and let the face palming begin...🤦

I really don't want to, but I feel as though I need to preface this with, she's a very rude person who clearly has no idea which way the ground is or most likely how to dress herself every morning. Seeing as I work in healthcare myself, I do try to be as understanding as possible and remind myself it is not the person, its the situation......buuuuuuuut, this woman though.😒

In the midst of all things happening at once yet no clear understanding as to when this surgery may happen, I was kind of moving forward fairly blind I guess. All I did know however was that it could happen at anytime, any hospital, with anyone. As some of you may know who have had surgery before there is quite a bit of "marathon running" around the few days up to a week before just to make sure all is in line and your body is overall physically well enough to withstand the complexities of undergoing any type of surgery, let alone one which is cancer related. I did however get a call from the receptionist of my oncologist which included a slew of questions, and well demands that came out in a way that even Mickey Mouse would get irritated, and he's like the president of the happiest place on earth!

My phone rang, with Dr. f's name scrolling across the screen and immediately I knew something big was gonna happen. Boy was I correct, it wasn't however exactly what or who I expected, but it was certainly something thats for sure. It turned out to be Dr. F's receptionist. I must be completely honest with you all, I do not 100% remember what happened during our first conversation as all of this happened now going on almost 2 years ago. However, what I do remember is her complete lack of patience, and irritation, as to assume I should know what things should mean when she mumbles them into the phone receiver. On top of all that, seemed she was trying to qualify for the mumble olympics, and then proceeded to argue with me when I repeatedly asked her to repeat herself, as much to her dismay, I am not fluent in incoherent mumbling via telephone. Mind you, I am certainly a woman of many talents, but that unfortunately for her,  does not seem to be one of them. 

From what I did gather/remember, from the conversation was her persistent tone of irritation while repeated (indirectly) calling me a liar and that I hadn't done any of the bloodwork AND CT test at PMH, I had done LITERALLY the day before. I get it however, things need to be aligned perfectly and all of the information needs to be gathered in order to move forward. BUUT, I was literally at PMH 12 hours before to complete the blood work and CT required. Yet this woman with the attitude and attention span of an evil gargoyle goldfish, clearly didn't give a sh*t. "Well I don't have it here, you need to go to PMH and do it again" WAIT WHAT!?! how is it my fault you and the rest of the UHN clearly do not know how to communicate.  Why is it fair that your lack of communication results in the diminishing of MY bank account, seeing as i'm sure your not willing to pay for my gas down there and DON'T EVEN get me started on parking.......UGH, I can just feel my blood start to boil while typing about it. But that all being said, "B*tchy Bertha" over there clearly didn't seem to give a rat's red rectum (yeah I know not the most appetizing visual one could have, but seemed to fit the situation haha). The blood work and CT just had to be done....yes again, because of the sensitivity of time this all needed to be completed in, despite not having ANY idea of when this surgery was actually going to happen. Yet could happen literally any day.....

But here is the joke in all of this. to this point in time, even though I had no official date of when the surgery was to happen, I did however have a date as a latest last resort. Hearing all this information of things needing to be repeated and redone was already bad enough from this B*tchy Bertha. But wait here is the best part, anyone who has had a CT or even MRI will tell you that you have no choice really as to when they are, they book it and you just show up. Lucky for me the date they gave me to have my CT "redone" seeing as I already freaking did it, was booked for the DAY AFTER MY SURGERY. How does that make any sense?!?! seeing as I needed to have the CT in order to be able to have the surgery in the first freakin place.

It was now at this point I had lost all of my patience and im sure "Bertha" will tell you the same. All of a sudden there I was telling her off like Twista in a rap battle, barely letting Bertha have a word in edgewise. In the midst of all of that I proceeded to tell her to call Dr. F directly immediately and figure something else out because I am having the surgery and they better fix their sh*t so it happens. Within 20 mins I get a call back from Bertha saying Dr. F was ok with me just simply having a chest Xray before the surgery.

Sigh.....UGH, Honestly this is all true, I couldn't make this sh*t up even if I wanted to...

To be continued, see you next time.....