Chapter 36: MRI 3 mo. Post IUD surgery

 So here we are, January 2021. The holidays 🎄🎅🏾🤶🏻were a blast, well as much as they could be given a world wide pandemic and no-one able to actually see their families, who don't live with them. Surprisingly enough, life just kept going on, and I remained busy as usual. That being said before I knew it, the "other side" of my life seemed to kick back up into gear and the tests began to resume once again. 

This may seem borderline impossible, but over the holidays and the past 3 months, I completely "forgot" I had cancer. 🤔As mentioned before, I guess maybe because of the stage that its at or maybe also the type of cancer I have,  I genuinely believe I don't feel "sick". On the contrary, I 100% have cancer, but I never really ever felt I did. It was only when I have to do tests or go to hospital to see my oncologist is when the reality begins to kick in again of what is really happening in my life.🤷🏻‍♀️

I was certainly hopeful that the IUD had done it job. The amount that I was bleeding, clearly told me that the IUD was shedding my endometrial lining and things were hopefully getting better. Before I knew it, the follow up tests were here, and round 2 was about to begin. 🥊🥊First up was another MRI. I tried my best to get past the previous super traumatic experience I had during the first MRI, and repeatedly told myself that.  Seeing as Ive been though it before, not only do I know what to expect now, but also hope that the same staff will not be working when I arrive. Yikes. If so, I can already imagine them gathering a giant mob of villagers with their flame torches and pitchforks getting ready to hunt down and kill the beast that is approaching. Like a scene from the beauty and the beast.

I can already see the MRI pre-screener guy as being Gaston aka the ring leader of the whole thing, just to get back at me for yelling at him. But FOR SURE though, 🤨 be better at your job...just saying.

Side note, now that I know I can put GIFs into this blog, my life literally just got 100 times better.😂

So I arrived at the hospital, all prepped and ready to go inside. While also being ready to crawl back into/under whatever hole or giant person sized boulder I could find. 🪨🪨Pending who was going to greet me at the reception desk. I am happy to say it was not the same woman. That the Lort, finally something was going right. I checked in at the reception and had a seat while patiently waiting a solid 2 hours before having my name called. Im not sure exactly what was going on but there was about 1-2 people being wheeled back and forth in the back hallway on hospital beds. Its like they were trying to exit the corn maze 🤔to find the apple pie and hot chocolate stand at the end. Im obviously watching the cooking channel while I type this, can you tell.😆

Finally after a good long while, they called my name to go in a get changed into the all so familiar hospital gown couture. By now I feel ive had to change in hospital gowns so much that I decided to try something new, to keep it exciting of corse. Why you ask? well why not..... and so I starting timing myself for fun.⏱ Well at least I thought it would be a good idea until I saw myself in the mirror and then got distracted by my own beauty and began to have my own imaginary photoshoot.😆 Just kidding. But I did look at all the new wrinkles and stress lines my face has gotten over the past few months.👵🏻 Sigh.....😒

After contemplating hitting up the nearest botox bar 💉on my way home, I left the change room ready to get the test over with as fast as possible. I was still super nervous, I couldn't help but have a feeling the previous staff from last time were going to pop out from behind a random curtain, or a magician's hat if they wanted to add some flare to the situation. 🪄🎩🐰 I was then directed to the IV area to get my pre-test injection, and was very happy to see that  completely new person who I have never seen before came around the corner to put my IV in. 

I then gave her the usual song and dance about me having "peek-a-boo veins" and basically wishing her good luck finding them. She spent quite a bit of time maneuvering and poking at my skin with her finger. I guess it's how they usually "poke the bear" 🐻 before they actually take a shot and try to get it. To be honest, I don't think she felt that confident, and really I respect that. Before I knew it another woman came around the corner who apparently is the "IV ninja"🥷 and could find and attack any vein she put her sight on. Luckily for me she really was a ninja! She got that vein in one fell swoop with no questions asked. She told me to take a good deep breath in and before I knew, it was in and taped to my hand.💪 If only all things in life were that easy and efficient! Imagine how much more we would be able to get done, like doing our own taxes or putting on our pants 2 legs at a time. 👖

She then told me I would have to wait a few minutes before I would go into the MRI room, which was nothing I haven't heard before. I was then directed to the front door of the MRI room to complete the usual routine. I proceeded to take off my shoes, hair tie and mask. Surprisingly enough, the man at the computer didn't seemed mesmerized by my presence, RUDE!🤨.... seeing as he barely acknowledged I was even there until I asked him for a new mask. At which point he pointed at the box by the door and continued studying his computer screen.🤷🏻‍♀️ OK then.

After putting on my new mask, 😷 I then went into the MRI room, layed down with my head on the pillow and the man came in and put the headphones over my ears. Seeing as despite wearing the headphones, the machine's noise continues to be the equivalent of a fire truck/ambulance with their siren on. 🚒🚑🚨🚨🚨I'm not sure really what the headphone's purpose is other than to have them "talk to you" aka whisper in your ears to notify you the table is going to begin vibrating. I say whisper, primarily as the machine's noise is still so loud that they might as well be yelling as if they were preforming as the lead singer of the heavy metal band Slip knot. Lort knows I'm so hard of hearing by this point I couldn't even try to tell you the difference. Mind you,  at least this time they told me when it was gonna start vibrating.

45 mins later and the sirens were off. I guess the fire was finally extinguished or the patient was brought to the hospital by the imaginary firetruck/ambulance, aka the MRI machine. I slowly sat up, gathered my belongings and went back to the change room. I must be honest I did have a sigh of relief that I didn't have to see the staff from last time. However that relief clearly diminished quickly once I then again saw the "new old lady lines". 👵🏻 Meh.... I just consider them good ol' battle wounds in the road map of life, aka my face.

So I'm proud to say I survived this test!, on to another....

Until next Monday all!