Choosing Joy

 Hi all, So I must say, this weekend was pretty special. Actually dare I say AMAZING! Some of you may know, others may not, but this weekend was my birthday. Yep getting up there with the rest of them, seems like.😝 If you don't include this past year, well actually 2 years, it hasn't been too bad so far. What I do know for sure though, seems its starting to take longer and longer to scroll down to find my birth year when im filling out forms online nowadays.😒😆 All jokes aside, well who am I kidding of corse there will be jokes, always. I had a truly amazing weekend! The past I don't know 2-4 years or so, id say i've looked forward to my birthday arriving, but once it got here it was like "oh, the wait and anticipation is gone and now your telling me I have to wait ANOTHER 365 days till it comes again?! well daymn ain't that some sh*t".  No, no, not this year my dear friends. This year I can honestly say, I truly have felt so much joy, love, support, and...

Hey all, So I feel like I can aready feel you confusion of what the above picture is. Well for those of you who don’t know what it is, it’s a giant ear cleaner. Just be careful how far you push it in….. HA just kidding. For those of you who do know, trust me I feel your pain, literally. However for those who don’t know what it is, it’s the wand they use for internal vaginal ultrasound. Oh yeah buddy, that crazy long yet oddly shaped wizard wand with a nob at the bottom, goes in your vagina as far as you would imagine, right to the handle I’m sure, or at least it feels like it does.🤦🏻‍♀️ Oh but don’t worry it’s covered by a condom. Lort knows I’m not trying to get pregnant from an ultrasound machine right now given my current cancer situation. So we better wrap that sucker up. Like they say “don’t be a fool, cover your tool”. Or one of my personal favourites, “cover your stump before you hump”, seeing as I’m sure the last thing anybody wants is to show up at their doctors office with ...

So, I came to a very interesting revelation this morning. It seems to me I feel as though I have lost myself in the progress/process of this blog. Im sure as you read this you have NO idea what i'm even rambling on about and thats completely fine. Seeing as this thought has been mulling around in my head for the past few hours if not a day. Seems as of late I have not been writing this blog for myself.  Although this blog I put out each Monday, its become my routine to write it rushingly the night before or day of, just to get the content out. 🙄🤦  The intention of this blog was to get out my experiences into the world, help me process them and hopefully help some others along the way. However, seems my view has changed as of late. Now, don't get wrong the story is FAR from over, I haven't even mentioned the second surgery yet. It seems to me though that I have been writing as of late just to get something out, not necessarily from a "healing standpoint". I feel ...

  Ode to my uterus.... You were there when my life started, and grew with me through time. Little did I know you'd no longer just be mine. We've been through highs and lows together, much to my dismay. But now we must be parted, it sucks to be this way. Seems as though this was my path I was directed to, But since the choice seemed not my own, i'm feeling like a fool. A fool you ask?, why must you say such a devastating words. Well how this whole crap-show started was because of female urge. What urge is this you wonder deep, of all the things to say, Naturally, the urge to become a mother, and have a little one one-day. A beautiful little mocha mixed baby that we could call our own, Instead I got this bulls*t news that forever rocked our home. "You have cancer", the female voice said on the other end of the phone, Lucky for me to hear this at work, instead of the comfort of my home.😒 I cant help but be sarcastic, its what helps to get me though This clearly is n...

Hello all! Welcome back to the next instalment of this dramatic soap opera that is my real life. You know, looking back on the past 20 or so posts of this blog, I cannot help but take a step back and think  Je*us H. Chr*st, I have been through a lot. In fact more than most people have been through in a life time. Which is good, better me than them.......I guess. 🤷 Makes me wonder though, how would other people handle something of this caliber? or how would just a "normal" person in general deal with a "feat" like this? Seeing as we all know up to this point that for sure i'm as normal as a dog riding a skateboard. 🛹🐕Oh yeah of corse its fun to watch at first, and h3ll your even a little fascinated by its talents to learn and adapt. But deep down you can't help but be just a tad worried that it may fall and really hurt itself. Of corse no-one wants to see a broken animal, especially if its cool enough to learn to use a skateboard. Maaaaan.... i'm 36, a...